Last week I was living the life of the Seven Dwarfs,
Not all of them, just Sleepy and Dopey.
Writing and reading have always been helpful to me.
But blurry vision and concrete mental dullness left me expressionless.
As soon as the haze lifted, my venting rant began.
Have you ever seen a bumper sticker: Emoting for Clarity…?
Neither have I.
My sketchpad & keyboard initially filled up with my spewing of head trash.
It is amazing how opinionated I became when my body was saturated with cancer meds.
The last two weeks were wild.
I turned 69 years old in bed under the haze of chemo.
I still feel 35 or so.
I almost fell off the wagon…
I started writing for you, to you, in my journal that is supposed to be about me. Ugh.
I figured it out and got myself back on track.
Now I am focusing on what I actually have access to.
…Me. OB1.
The coast is clear.
I am returning to tranquility base.
My playful tranquility settles me deeply and yet giggling is heard.
Love winks at me sharing her sparkles of inspiring confidence and trust.
Voltaire is right, “God is a comedian playing to a crowd that is afraid to laugh.”
Comedy and musical theater have been my lifelong major, just not in school.
My father brought to life Mark Twain, Will Rogers, the Marx Brothers and vaudeville.
Probably no one has read more self-help books than me.
Yet, humor helps the most.
My family tenses every time I step into a restaurant, a store,
Or worse yet…an elevator.
A captive audience.
A place to test new ‘material’ that has been swirling in my head.
Our flowers are so beautiful that I got so excited that I wet my plants.
(At least I didn’t topsoil myself.)
And the outpouring of humor begins. It can happen anywhere.
… on my meditation cushion. In solitude. In society.
Never needing an audience… it is grand if one surfaces.
As long as my ‘imaginary disconnect with love’ is ‘fixed’…tranquility dominates.
Gently smiling, I see potential and purpose in everyone, most importantly in me.
I am back in the game.
It is the life of pain-mingled-joy that unites us all and terrifies us all.
I shout to the sky…
Experience the tumultuous roller coaster of life
that helps you bump into the great sages!
And in the background,
I hear Dad’s unending joke lines and baritone ukulele that kept dinner time hilarious.
Thanks Dad!
Love,
Blair
Fear is selfish.
Courage is selfless.