The Division of Decision

Dear Family and Friends,

Here is a little update from my most recent full body scan and the new challenges it has brought to our door. 

These words are the crowbar I use to open my heart to yours.

Several months ago we had to choose
Fight the cancer or risk a lung to lose.
Now the lymph or the bone are in the mix
Juxtaposing chemo or radiation or ni

How do we reach conclusions so deep
Without letting fear and doubt be the creep
That distorts our clarity and ruins our joy
Making life and death decisions as its toy

I reach out for paper and pen to gain some clarity within
I dash off a note to family and friends on such a whim
For they too know the dilemma of the challenge of choice
And share this plight that keeps digging deeper into my voice

Of calm and courage that I so easily espoused in days of yore
While now that same voice rally’s my heart’s deepest roar
To not give in to rush and ruin but rather listen to a higher tune
Of quietude and calm that overrides the dust of fear plumes.

Your letters and texts inspire Terri and I to sit quietly by
As the comforting warmth of community inside arise
Thank you for reminding us that eternity is never at risk
And even in this moment we have no need to be brisk.

So here is what is happening now…

Cancer in my spine and a lymph node in my chest have been found
Tests, biopsies, tumor board meetings and research that’s sound
Are scheduled for the next few weeks with chemo on hold
So we sit and reflect with all of you, feeling loved and bold

God and Guru, mentors and friends reach out to our family and then
We listen and ponder their reassuring words that never offend
And now we will go silent until more clarity comes from those
With greater medical expertise and see if it matches our prose.

Love is not there to make you feel special, it’s there to make you brave.

Thank you.

Love,
Blair

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