Let the world be little with you.
The ultimate plot twist, Kleenex boxes and time to rehearse.
1. Once I saw my dad rubbing a bucket in the garage.
I asked him what he was doing, he said he was feeling a little pale.
In the past few months I have been asked about my bucket list, especially when I was feeling a little pail.
(smile) The main items on my list besides love of family, were “meaningful conversations” and “writing.”
2. In case you haven’t noticed, I have not been writing much lately, here is why…
[Spoiler Alert – I am about to share a glimpse of a few rough weeks.]
The PET Scan in mid-July showed progression of the cancer in my tissues and bones. Not what we were expecting. At all.
It caught us off guard…way off guard!!!
It took us over a week and several boxes of Kleenex to regain our balance.
Finally, I stopped wrestling with the data. I did not want to let this new information to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Bitter fearful tears finally turned into sweet tears of love and insight.
Don’t be touched by what you touch.
I had to deploy my wisdom in a more skillful manner.
My old default programming of negativity continued to circle around me until Terri and Panditji and Avi and others helped me stand up to it.
The value of negativity is zero. But it still overwhelmed me until it didn’t.
I didn’t feel worthy of writing and sharing stories of my journey when things weren’t going well. (I was on a trip…an ego trip.)
Keeping my eye on my North Star and my constant rehearsing a future of healing and recovery were all over-shadowed by fear, disappointment, and doubt.
NOT anymore!!
3. Freedom isn’t Free…
You have to pay the price, you have to sacrifice, for your liberty.
– a song from Up with People (circa 1960’s).
My loyalty to discomfort created
a willingness to suffer instead of search,
a willingness to despair instead of discover.
In high school (1972), I wore a lapel pin that read “Question Authority.”
I did then, but not now.
When I ignored or overlooked options that ignited my joy of discovery, my hope was halted.
Not any more.
The answer is always “know!”
4. The fountain of youth
Doing what I love and being with those I love produce chemicals in my body and brain that promote and produce healing. I started moving forward again, loving the challenge of the journey and not worrying about the outcome.
While it is true that cancer is in my body and bones, but so is your loving support and the wisdom of the sages. God’s grace, the knowledge and blessings of my teachers and your love greatly outnumber my cancer cells more than a billion to one!
My resolve to heal and my will to live returned.
Staying uplifted while dealing with obstacles arriving in many forms.
My salvation arose from
Love, Prayer, Fellowship, and Reflection
Writing for me is my fountain of youth.
We all need to find out what our own fountain is. Maybe I need a “fountain pen!?!?” Hmmm.
5. Here is our news update:
We are reaching out to research hospitals to look at new treatment options, taking a bone strengthening medicine, and any clinical trials that may be available.
I have been working the phones getting appointments with these specialty clinics.
We are excited to see what we will learn in the next couple of weeks, and we’ll meet again with our new oncologist in a few weeks to compare notes and treatment options. We are very optimistic, but it will take a few weeks to determine the new course of action.
In the meantime, we can all keep rehearsing a future of healing and happiness and fellowship.
6. And here is my daily read (you are welcome to join me)…
Unconditional love has very high standards.
It means to embrace everything we have been through and everything we have avoided or forgotten.
We have become experts at hiding from ourselves.
Thus, the very nature of spiritual practices and self-improvement exercises must be a methodology for bringing all that we have hidden back into our awareness.
The main thing we hide from ourselves is the gold, the goodness, and the greatness.
Embracing our beauty and personal power is difficult, for some it feels impossible. It’s easy to feel weak, disqualified — supported by our private history of shortcomings and faults.
Loving guidance teaches us how to accept and incorporate those buried moments that previously frightened us, shamed us, or disturbed us – because there is something more important:
Activating and embracing the powers of positivity that we were born with is more powerful and longer lasting.
Optimists live longer, live better and heal faster.
I define my life. Life does not define me.
Failure is failing to be all that you can be.
Writing for me is my fountain of youth. – OB1
Love and Gratitude,
Terri and Blair
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Fear is selfish.
Courage is selfless.