5 things worth sharing this week
1. Panic Button – fireworks inside my mind on July 2
4 days of non-stop atrial fibrillation lit the fuse or vice versa. I quickly learned that I don’t have to fight the darkness, I just have to turn on the light.
Terri helped me realize that I don’t need to believe the prognosis, while we do everything possible to resolve the diagnosis. I love little rhymes.
In moments of weakness (think: fear and paranoia), it is so easy to give away my power to the medical world that I have only known for less than 20 months. This means I ignore relationship wisdom that has guided me for years, decades, and more. Ugh. Silly me!!!
Verbal face slaps from those who know and love me are a great stinging gift!
Today my heart and I are doing much better…and so is my cheek (smile).
2. My brain is constantly trying to do two things:
1. Survive and thrive
2. And conserve calories
Thinking burns the most calories.
When anything is too difficult for me to understand, I tune out. Same with anything that doesn’t help me survive and thrive. I zone out, I don’t have time to waste. My rudeness is moderated by my heart as best I can.
Marketing experts tell me that we don’t buy what is the best for us, instead we buy what is easiest to understand. If you confuse me, you lose me. Whether I am purchasing products or information, I quickly select that which is easiest to understand because it burns the fewest calories.
As a writer, there is always this rebuke: TL;DR.
Too Long; Didn’t Read.
Editors kill me sometimes. Ugh.
But it saves my reader’s brain calories. I guess that is fair.
3. Telling the Story – here is a life buoy that Avi tossed my way.
Learning to rehearse the future in a new way by telling myself the story of how my day will unfold on July 11th.
Cleansing that day from emotional spikes by constantly telling myself the story of what my experience will be that day (over and over and over) until all the triggers points of fear and panic have been exposed and exhausted.
…today’s story of the future…
July 11, PET scan day, I wake up.
It is early morning as my eyes open to the sunrise.
An air of calm and quiet has filled my room.
No chai, no food today, until after the 8am scan.
Confidence and gratitude dominate my mind as I clean and dress for a good day.
My brother-in-law, Jeff, arrives early for the drive to the clinic.
Scan complete, now we wait.
4. Remission means to ‘remember my mission.’
• My mission now is to remember the future that I have chosen, created, and crafted to love, serve and remember the highest good in all of us.
As you know, the future always shows up in ways that we cannot predict.
Since, I have no idea what I will be thinking about 15 minutes from now. I trust in that revealing power of how and when my new life will unfold.
Having already led my mind and body into a full healing capacity and recovery mode. A new chapter of my life is coming soon.
The details and timing of ‘how’ and ‘when’ are mysteries even for the mystics.
This is probably true for you, too.
• Journaling helps me remember the future and the present moment – however fleeting. Sharing my thoughts is even better, thus, the new website is one of my finer therapies. I am so grateful for all the donations of money, talents, and insights that made it possible. You have given me a life-saving tool that I use every day. Your kindness inspires me to write and share my journey in the most uplifting manner.
Due to the toxic thoughts from medications and memories, I cleanse them and expose them before ever sharing them. Undigested materials clog my clarity and would never benefit others. I chew on them until nourishment surfaces and most of the waste has moved downstream.
As a patient, this is teaching me patience. Big time!
• I am learning to see my symptoms as a portal to insights and connections for healing and recovery. Consciousness provides an interpretation that adjusts/adapts the functions of my cells.
• What we believe, we can achieve.
5. Please share these emails if you wish.
Let others know of the website if the resources there can be helpful. All emailed journal notes eventually get posted on the site. The posts are here!
Love,
Terri and Blair
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Fear is selfish.
Courage is selfless.