Love, Radiation, and Fear
1. Love is never having to say you’re sorry
Do you remember the movie Love Story
Where the tag line was:
“Love is never having to say you’re sorry.”
And you have been so kind to not say it.
To not say “I’m so sorry.”
This phrase is famous at funerals and in chemotherapy rooms
for dropping the parlor room’s energy and further devastating the patient’s morale.
Sorry is the base note that is best avoided
While most people live above middle C
Chemo drops others to a deep base note of despairing recitals
that only an arpeggio of love can uplift and brighten.
You do that for me.
“I’m sorry…”
Not one of you have said it.
That tells me how amazing you are!
How embracing you are of my truth and consequences.
Thank you
2. Radiation begins next week.
I get to say that way too often.
Well at least 4 times so far.
My bones need help and that is how it will start.
10 treatments in 10 days.
Then the next phase of care will begin.
That phase is yet to be determined. In the meantime…
3. I was taught that most of us fear change.
We are scared of the unknown or possibly having a better life.
People are not successful because they are afraid of being successful. So we resist.
We constantly complain about what we can’t do and ask for advice that we don’t take.
It’s like there’s some big block and we are constantly carrying that block in front of us.
We have decided that this block cannot be shattered.
Fear of the unknown prevents us from exploring the unknown.
That is why only the fearless achieve.
This is not the kind of fearlessness of buffaloes who used to charge trains and get hurt.
This fearlessness is accompanied by wisdom.
We can’t be afraid of exploring new ways of living.
A chick comes out after shattering the shell.
We are afraid of breaking our shell.
That’s why it takes so much time to achieve happiness in life. This is what I was told to contemplate on in 1997.
I still am.
Love,
Terri and Blair
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Fear is selfish.
Courage is selfless.